THAILAND: AN ABRIDGED VERSION – THE NORTH

WARNING:  So this trip was actually last July and I have been attempting to write this for over 2 (*edit: 3) months and I can’t actually remember a lot of the stuff I did so now I feel like I’m properly waffling but I don’t want to waste everything I’ve already done so I’ve decided to focus on the first part of my trip then probably not write about the southern islands because my brain hurts so I’m sticking to the north and getting on with it.

Let’s pick up from where we left off last time….

I’ve just arrived in Bangkok after my long and tiring hour journey from Phuket with no idea where I was going or who I was meeting. My first decision – attempt to navigate the public transport system of Bangkok or get in a nice air-conditioned taxi and just let them type my hotel into their Sat Nav? Considering I’d left it rather late and I had 45 minutes to get to the hotel for the welcome meeting for my tour I opted for scenario number two and headed for the taxi rank.

I had no idea who was going to be on my tour and the lobby of the hotel was full of travellers so naturally I became really awkward and smiled at EVERYONE that walked past me as I didn’t want to seem like the unsociable cow with resting bitch face, however in hindsight I probably came across and the weirdo that wanted to tag on to anyone that would give her the time of day. After successfully distinguishing myself as the lonesome keeno, I got the key to my room and went to meet my new roommate. I was greeted by a slightly sleep-deprived American named Liv – who later (and by later I mean that night and a few Chang’s later) became my absolute no 1 partner in crime.

The welcome meeting was an interesting one – the room was made up of two Swiss, two Germans, four Irish, three Americans, five Brits, one Columbian, and a Scot topped off with our tour guide – the wonderful, majestic and awe-inspiring ladyboy, Wah Wah (although she deleted me off Facebook days after the tour so I’m not sure if her opinion of me matched my glowing description of her…). Mix in jet lag from multiple time zones and awkward ‘getting to know each other’ conversations there was only really one option – alcohol. And where better to embarrass yourself in front of eighteen new strangers than Khao San Road, Bangkok. Before we arrived at said destination, we took a slight detour in the shape of a corrupt tuk-tuk driver and a back street ping pong show. On reflection, 8 of us in a 3 seat tuk-tuk for 60 baht total (less than £1.50), it’s no surprise we ended up in the wrong end of Bangkok after 3 hours. It’s safe to say that we got out of there as soon as physically possible and got an actual taxi to Khao San Road and proceeded to get far too drunk and danced horrifically.

Take the 35-degree heat, add the humidity, the hangover, the faint but distinct smell of Chang and a broken down long-tail boat on the Chao Phraya river for OVER AN HOUR and you have my first full day in Bangkok. If I’m completely honest, I was more than happy to make our way to our next stop -Chiang Mai.

12 hours and an awful night sleep on my first experience of a sleeper train later and we arrived in Chiang Mai. My first stop was a catch up with my other American acquaintance who I’d met in Thailand – Tracy. She was my roommate on the TEFL course. I think she will 100% agree with me that we had similarities and differences that maybe meant 3 weeks sharing a room put a slight strain on our new found friendship but not ones to dwell on the past – we remained friends and spent a few hours perusing Nimmanhaemin Rd – the quirky side to Chaing Mai – where we caught up over some Eggs Benedict to DIE FOR and a coffee at the infamous Risr8to Lab (*edit – I went to Chiang Mai again last month and I was introduced to many many more amazing coffee shops. I just love coffee).

Our second day in Chiang Mai was filled with an activity I hadn’t planned to embark on – zip lining. One of my flaws is that I’m a bit of a scrooge when it comes to parting with money and if something costs over £10 I can be a little hesitant to pay (yet I’ll still spend £30 on a night out so my logic is somewhat flawed) however every other person was doing the zip line and I didn’t fancy 5 hours on my own so I signed myself up and SO glad I did. I feel like zip lining is one to tick off the bucket list- and doing it in the jungles of Northern Thailand did not disappoint.

Day three up north marks the start of the three day hilltribe trek. Now, this, this was an experience. The journey started with 8 of us being shoved into the back of a open air pick up truck, much to our advantage as once we made our way into the mountains we were greeted with the most wonderful views.

We pulled up to a local roadside restaurant, told to grab our things and follow our guides who began to walk towards a VERY steep hill. This was the beginning of something I don’t think any of us were expecting. Hills. Hills, hills and my god more hills.

Just after the final photo above, we caught site of the village that would be our home for the night, and it was a learning experience to say the very least. It was a very unusual but humbling experience walking round the village with our tour guide, Sammy, as he explained how these villagers lived their everyday lives. Many had moved down over the border through Myanmar and settled here working on the rice fields or raising pigs to earn a living.

Considering I’d booked myself onto a tour that specifically said it included a 3 day trek, I don’t think I anticipated so much…trekking. The second day walk was probably the most physically demanding days of my life so far but ended with probably one of the funniest nights too. We spent the night playing Ping Pang Pong – the rules of which have escaped me – but if you lost you were subject to humiliation in the form of charcoal face paints and resulted in this…

Day three bought rain, and lots of it. Luckily, our route home didn’t need dry weather as we made our way back towards Chaing Mai on a bamboo raft. Over three hours stood on a less than secure raft floating down some river in the northern jungles of Thailand in monsoon season was actually more fun than it sounds. When you add that we got trapped on rocks causing us to head backwards down rapids and Aoife not clocking the branch that the other 5 of us did causing her to take a little swim and the whole scenario was a little more amusing.

Back in the civilisation of Chiang Mai, I probably experienced one of the FUNNIEST nights of my life to date. Part one involved my first ever ladyboy show which did not disappoint, tapping into all emotions (I’m talking to you, Lauren), but in all fairness it was once again fuelled by maybe one to many Chang’s. The second part of the night lead us to fit 20 people into one tuk tuk which took us to some backstreet local Thai club at the request of Wah Wah and inevitably ended up with the majority of our group becoming back up dancers to an apparently famous Thai band because that’s just what happens in Thailand and you never really know why…